I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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