apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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