I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
