I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
