if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
