Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
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I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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