it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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