he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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She even gives head with a lisp.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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