So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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