6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
