that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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