Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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