drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
