He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
