Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
