I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
