You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
