Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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