I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Small penises have feelings too.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i came on her dog
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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