You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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