The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
