dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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