Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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