Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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