she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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