She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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