well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
