im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just found puke in my bra..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
