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Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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