I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
