i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
