Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dick very happy bro
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
