Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
soo... how was my night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize