Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just googled if crying burns calories
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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