I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
