Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
