if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
