shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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