you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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