Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
