PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
