I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
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