idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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