I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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