Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
