My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
