ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
