She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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