I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were destined to go to rehab together
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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