I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
