Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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