there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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