my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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