I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
