so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
