I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
