He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
