Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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