Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
