D3 body, D1 cock
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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