its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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