covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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