I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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