Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
