ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
